You know how to tell if a religion is total bullshit? There are plenty of ways, chief among them a cursory reading of the religion’s holy book. But the most amusing way to arrive at this conclusion is to just listen to the representatives of said religion speak.
Enter Bryan Fischer: radio host, Christian, and dumbfuck extraordinaire. I’m sure you’ve all heard the story of a pastor claiming that Melania Trump requested an exorcism of the White House. If you haven’t, check it out. Cue America’s faction of idiocy, the Christian Right. Continue reading Conservatives and the Art of BS
I read this article on Facebook about Nick Offerman’s response to the question of men crying, and it nearly brought me to tears. Why? Because it’s nice when a famous man who is often seen as a “man’s man” comes out and just throws a monkey wrench in machismo.
It got me to thinking about the things that move me to tears. There was the last scene in the original Independence Day. The thought of an advanced species coming all the way to earth in spaceships that were larger than most cities losing to humans who can barely avoid an accidental nuclear war stirred something in me that I couldn’t deny, and I had to shed those tears.
Continue reading Be a Man (or Crying is for Sissies)
Ladies and gentlemen, what a week. First, the FBI and Democrats try to head off #releasethememo by putting out statements about how damaging it would be to classified sources or some shit. Then the memo is released, and I’m forced to recall all those times I’ve left a woman unsatisfied, and I feel this newfound kinship with women because that release was certainly the performance of a minute-man. Next, all the Republicans decide to say stupid shit, like there’s a barely functioning idiot working in the highest echelons of government passing on vapid talking points to the Repubs via Sean Hannity. Actually, that’s literally what’s happening. We’re not going to talk about any of that, though, because I have an even better WTF moment in store.
You know when you’re listening to somebody speak, and they say something so stupid you can’t help but to punch them in the throat?
Continue reading How to be Tone Deaf in 140 Characters or Less
Hey, its me, Josh.
I haven’t heard from you in a while. In fact, it has been so long, I get the impression you’re avoiding me.
I thought we were close. I thought we had an understanding. That was the whole reason I showed up: so I could understand. But you took my reaching out to you and slapped away my hand, and I just don’t understand why.
Why don’t you love me?
Continue reading An Open Letter to Atheists
Do you know what magic feels like?
I’m not speaking of magic tricks, or Magic: the Gathering, or Wiccan magic.
I’m talking about real magic.
“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
When I was growing up, my father encouraged reading. It was kind of a thing with me. Every day I was reading books. The books could be educational, religious, young adult, and on and on and on. I read so much that I developed a love for reading. Continue reading Magical Thinking in the Atheist Community
When you realize all the people in the world matter (not just the ones you identify with).
So here’s a thing: atheists who believe in the supernatural.
First, what do you even call an atheist who holds on to beliefs in anything supernatural?
I know the dictionary definition of an atheist is one who lacks a belief in god or gods.
Continue reading The Atheist Who Wasn’t
So, here’s a thing: Tomi Lahren blames liberals for kids eating Tide Pods.
What’s amusing about this lady’s claims is that she supports an administration that introduced the phrases fake news and alternative facts into our daily lexicon; an administration who banned several federal offices from using such phrases as climate change, science based, and evidence based; Continue reading Tomi Lahren and the Political Tide Pod Challenge
You know what’s hard to face as an American? That people from other countries can’t take you seriously. It’s bad enough you only speak one language, so you already seem inferior. People from supposed “shithole” countries, like those in Africa, commonly speak at least two languages, sometimes three or more languages. I think I know only one or two Americans, personally, who are at least bilingual, and they happen to be Nigerian and Senegalese. Continue reading American Greatness: Losing Face Before the World
When it’s raining, you imagine
the whole world is drowning.
moving along without you, bathing
in the sunlight
beneath a nude, azure
Picture this: 2016, you’re watching the election coverage, and one thing keeps bouncing around in your head.
We need change!
The people are clamoring for it. The followers of Christ yearn for it. Middle America, for so long ignored and forgotten by the Wall Street and Hollywood elites, the liberal professors looking down on them from their ivory towers, and the Washington deep state failing to deliver on promises while simultaneously taking everything from them and giving it to people who didn’t work for it, is ready for change.
Can you feel it?
Continue reading #MAGA: 10 Reasons Trump is America’s Greatest President