This week, failed presidential candidate and serial philanderer Newt Gingrich opined that “Atheist Philosophy” is the greatest threat to Christianity. It’s so great a threat that not even the chance of being blown up by a terrorist or shot to death by a mass shooter compare.
You know how to tell if a religion is total bullshit? There are plenty of ways, chief among them a cursory reading of the religion’s holy book. But the most amusing way to arrive at this conclusion is to just listen to the representatives of said religion speak.
Enter Bryan Fischer: radio host, Christian, and dumbfuck extraordinaire. I’m sure you’ve all heard the story of a pastor claiming that Melania Trump requested an exorcism of the White House. If you haven’t, check it out. Cue America’s faction of idiocy, the Christian Right. Continue reading Conservatives and the Art of BS
Ladies and gentlemen, what a week. First, the FBI and Democrats try to head off #releasethememo by putting out statements about how damaging it would be to classified sources or some shit. Then the memo is released, and I’m forced to recall all those times I’ve left a woman unsatisfied, and I feel this newfound kinship with women because that release was certainly the performance of a minute-man. Next, all the Republicans decide to say stupid shit, like there’s a barely functioning idiot working in the highest echelons of government passing on vapid talking points to the Repubs via Sean Hannity. Actually, that’s literally what’s happening. We’re not going to talk about any of that, though, because I have an even better WTF moment in store.
You know when you’re listening to somebody speak, and they say something so stupid you can’t help but to punch them in the throat?
Here’s a thing I didn’t know was a thing: camel beauty pageants.
Ahhhh, Facebook, what the hell would I do without you? Continue reading From Sacred Cow to Sacred Camel
I’ve a keen interest in all this shit that’s going on with the Russia probe. It’s fascinating to me, and gives me a high like snorting an eight ball out of the crack of a teenage hooker in Bangkok. For those of you who might find that all-too-specific simile a bit disturbing, I was channeling the love child of Donald Trump and Jordan Belfort. But I digress… This Russia shit is off the chain (or is it “on fleek” the kids are saying these days?).
You know all that shit we used to hear about America being a Christian nation, a nation of compassion and virtue and all that sanctimonious bullshit? Well, turns out it was never true.