How to be Tone Deaf in 140 Characters or Less

Ladies and gentlemen, what a week. First, the FBI and Democrats try to head off #releasethememo by putting out statements about how damaging it would be to classified sources or some shit. Then the memo is released, and I’m forced to recall all those times I’ve left a woman unsatisfied, and I feel this newfound kinship with women because that release was certainly the performance of a minute-man. Next, all the Republicans decide to say stupid shit, like there’s a barely functioning idiot working in the highest echelons of government passing on vapid talking points to the Repubs via Sean Hannity. Actually, that’s literally what’s happening. We’re not going to talk about any of that, though, because I have an even better WTF moment in store.

You know when you’re listening to somebody speak, and they say something so stupid you can’t help but to punch them in the throat?

Allow me to introduce Paul Ryan. Speaker Ryan is a relatively young, well-defined man who leads the House with the vacuous grandiosity of a devout disciple of Ayn Rand. When Atlas shrugged, it was Paul Ryan he dropped on his fucking head.

This poor man’s version of Donald Trump if he were a stable genius decided to put out a tweet highlighting the seeming joy of a woman who somehow realized that she was earning an extra $1.50 per week on her paycheck. He deleted that tweet, but I happened to get a screenshot some time before (as did many others), because it was obvious that this was a tweet that wasn’t going to survive the gauntlet of woke Twitter users who quickly caught on to the narrative Ryan was trying to push:

You have to be getting paid sweatshop wages to even notice a raise of $1.50 a week. And if that’s the money you need to get a Costco membership, you aren’t going to have anything left to even buy anything at Costco.

I’m willing to bet the secretary was being sarcastic. In fact, it’s insanely probable. People with conservative leanings seem to often misunderstand things like sarcasm, satire, parodies, and general joking around. I mean, is it me, or have you noticed it, too? Like when Fox News or Breitbart breaks the news on an article written by the goddamn Onion?

Funniest thing on the internet since #yomemojokes. It’s hard not to relish in Paul Ryan’s abject tone deafness.


3 thoughts on “How to be Tone Deaf in 140 Characters or Less”

  1. Perhaps this is the best thing about Twitter (which I avoid). Adults with impulse control issues reveal themselves to be utter dipshits. It’s one thing if the average person says something stupid, but these politicians have been “on message” long enough to have some sense of discretion. Yet they don’t seem to know how it works. It’s like someone said “Move that bus” to America and it’s revealed itself to be a shitload of really dumb people.

    Liked by 1 person

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