I’ve a keen interest in all this shit that’s going on with the Russia probe. It’s fascinating to me, and gives me a high like snorting an eight ball out of the crack of a teenage hooker in Bangkok. For those of you who might find that all-too-specific simile a bit disturbing, I was channeling the love child of Donald Trump and Jordan Belfort. But I digress… This Russia shit is off the chain (or is it “on fleek” the kids are saying these days?).
Easily the most fascinating aspect of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Trump, his finances, and his campaign, is the obsequious reaction of the GOP in the defense of their dear leader. Most recently, Republicans, whom I’ve lovingly referred to as the Party of Stupid ever since Dinesh D’Souza labeled them that back in Obama’s day, have opted to engage in a Twitter campaign against Robert Mueller called #ReleasetheMemo. Essentially, it’s the #MeToo movement for rich white guys who are afraid to go to prison. I say that in jest because, the #MeToo movement, for the most part, has truth and logic on its side. #ReleasetheMemo is based on an all-too-convenient conspiracy theory that the government is suppressing a memo that “exposes a ‘deep state’ plot against the president.” The government, by way of the House Intelligence Committee (which is headed by a Republican), is suppressing information alleging that the Steele Dossier is totally fabricated, and that Mueller should stop investigating because, you know, #fakenews and #alternativefacts. Setting aside the fact that the Steele Dossier is apparently not the crux of the investigation, it is certainly the last hope of the GOP, and this memo about how phony the dossier is being held up by some shadow puppets?
So let me get this straight: the president is a Republican. The majorities in the House and Senate are Republican. The FBI, ICE, DHS, US Marshalls, DEA, TSA, NSA, CIA, local law enforcement and the DTF each has its ardent and oft-times overzealous Trump supporters, and not a single person can manage to release this memo because the “deep state” is so fucking powerful that the GOP needs a Twitter campaign to petition for the release of a memo they had written by some anonymous GOP staffer?
THESE FUCKERS ARE THE GOVERNMENT.
See, this is why the GOP will forever be the party of stupid. Not only are their hard core of constituents people who will time and time again vote against their own interests and reject facts in lieu of how they feel any given day, but the GOP, when it comes to scandals, does a piss poor job of concocting a plan that will convince a majority of us in the US that they are on the right side of history. #ReleasetheMemo is the GOP equivalent of a black man fumbling for a reason those risque photos of the neighbor are on his phone during the “Woooooooow” interlude.
You know what it’s like walking into a press conference featuring a politician fucking a pig because his daughter got kidnapped? Neither do I, but I have my reference point in a Black Mirror episode, so we’ll just go with it. I’m more and more convinced, every day, that the GOP is relegating itself to the anus of history, but sometimes I feel as if they have to be doing this on purpose. I mean, listen, you have your Alex Jones and his followers, Laura Ingrahams, and plethora of preachers and ministers who will buy this, not because it’s true, but because it makes them feel good. I mean, you’re throwing your support behind Nixon Deuce, and when the shit hits the fan, it’s not going to be a good look. It’d be something like Lady Gaga wearing the meat suit after concluding the business of digesting it.
What are your thoughts on the Russia Probe? Is DT in some deep shit? Should we start taking bets on how many GOP members of Congress are going to jail?